I’ve tried so many ways to get the sense of safety I should’ve gotten as a child.

Trees provided years of sanctuary. But then came a year where fire ravaged the forest and they no longer felt like a sure thing.

My beloved dog Lady provided 13 years of safety but then she passed on.

I only could feel safe deep in the woods far from people and their unpredictability.

While on one of my extended treks I found I wanted to feel safe no matter what. I was tired of feeling scared all the time and feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t have a safe childhood.

I knew I could be so much more. I was just holding myself back.

As I was contemplating the beauty and quiet, miles from people and noise, I wondered what I could do and what I could do for all the millions of us who grew up not feeling safe.

I realized it had to be a choice. I couldn’t go back and change the past, I couldn’t make myself feel safe back then, it was over. Feeling sorry for myself wouldn’t bring me safety. Trying to understand why it wasn’t different wouldn’t make it any better.

The only thing that would change the past was to focus on the present.

I’d been told over and over again to let go. I didn’t even know what that meant. It was like I was suppose to jump off a cliff or something and that seemed stupid.

Why did I feel so safe in the middle of nowhere? A place where most people are scared to eaten by some wild animal.

You know why I felt safe out there?

Nothing bad had ever happened there. I’d never been so much as yelled at, let alone beaten. I only felt inspiration and love. No judgement, just peace. I felt the same as I did when I was three playing in the yard, not a care in the world.

And in that moment I realized, I could do with what I had done with other changes I made.

CHOOSE

Choose to feel safe, choose moment by moment to realize right then and there I was safe.

“Step out of the history that is holding you back.
Step into the new story you are willing to create.” Oprah Winfrey

I might or might not be safe in 20 minutes, or the next day, who knew, but in that moment, and this moment, and this moment,

I AM SAFE

What about you? Do you want to feel safe now or keep thinking about the past or future when you weren’t or may be hurt?

We never know when a friend or loved one will erupt on us.

We never know when the next car may hit us.

But are you safe now?

That’s where we can start taking comfort.

Now I ‘d love to hear from you. What do you do to feel safe?

Have a great week, and keep looking for the joy!

Much love,
Holly

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